By Phoebe Farag Mikhail
Read to the end to learn more about how to win a signed giveaway copy of Invited by Leslie Verner!
If you’ve read my book or this blog, you’ll note that I’ve been sharing a lot about hospitality, a practice that leads to joy and real community. When I learned that Leslie Verner of the blog Scraping Raisins was coming out with a book just focused on hospitality, I jumped at the chance to spread the word about it. In Invited: The Power of Hospitality in an Age of Loneliness, Leslie shares what she has learned about hospitality through her own travels to different countries and her experiences with different cultures. She understands hospitality the way I do: “less about entertaining and more about becoming a good neighbor.”
If you are exploring ideas for how to open your doors to hospitality, but are hesitant or even afraid, this is the book for you. So many of us hesitate to open our doors because we are afraid that people might see us for who we really are. But as Verner writes, “You do it because doing life together means not hiding behind closed doors but inviting people into your actual life. And your actual life is not pretty. It’s not organized, perfect or pristine.” Mine is not any of those things at any time, but the invited guest rarely needs “organized, perfect, or pristine.” The guest needs community, connection, love – and so do I.
In experiencing the hospitality of others in different cultures, Verner is able to see a clear challenge to hospitality in the West. “…Individualism is the silent, lethal undertow luring the North American church away from the shore of genuine community.” This individualism, which is a cultural exception in an otherwise “collectivist” world, can often cause us to leave little room not just in our homes but in our time and our schedules for hospitality and authentic connection with our neighbors.
Verner shares some beautiful stories, both of inviting and being invited, during her life abroad in China, but moreso in her everyday life in Colorado with young children, where she learns more about the importance of staying where she is and investing in the community she’s in. In my book I write about finding out who is traveling alone, and in Invited, Verner points out an astounding statistic – seventy-five percent of international students in the United States will never enter an American home during all the years of their study! I’m already starting to think about all the international students I encountered while tutoring at a nearby university, and what a visit in a home would mean for them.
Verner’s book opened my eyes to another perspective I will be thinking about for a while: hospitality towards my own children. She points out that “Our children live with us temporarily until they find their home in the world. Do I show them the same respect and hospitality I show non-family members?” I haven’t considered this perspective on children before, but it’s a beautiful one. When we practice hospitality, our homes need to be welcoming places to our children first and foremost so that they can be welcoming places for others.
I have a SIGNED copy of Invited to share with one of my readers! To enter the giveaway, subscribe to my email newsletter and then comment below about why hospitality is important to you. You can also head over to my Instagram, follow and make a comment on my post, and tag a friend! US and Canada addresses only please; giveaway closes on Monday, August 19th at 11:49 pm EST.
Some of the links above are affiliate links. If you choose to make a purchase via those links, I will receive a small commission for referring you at no extra cost to you. You are under no obligation to purchase the items through my links, but if you do, you will be helping support the cost of running this blog and providing you with the writing and reviews you enjoy. Your support is much appreciated!
Mariam Zaky
August 6, 2019 11:18 amHospitality is something that only came onto my radar seriously within the past few months (when I attended your talk and read your book). I’ve learned that hospitality is important to me personally because God has blessed me with an abundance and adding a couple more plates to the dinner table and inviting others in makes ME feel less lonely too. I recently went out of my comfort zone and invited our across the street neighbors over and it was so pleasant. I avoided the “entertaining” mentality that I am so accustomed to being synonymous with hospitality in my own home growing up and just simply had our normal dinner but with our neighbors. I didn’t even deep clean or move my toddler’s toys out of the way. Nothing special. Just included them in my every day life. But it seriously left me feeling so full when they left (in more than my appetite) and it has helped us develop a good relationship with them. After reading your book I’ve been thinking about who I know that is traveling alone that I can also invite into my home. This post got me thinking about making my own home a hospitable place for my children which I had never really considered. Thank you for writing this!
phoebe@beingincommunity.com
August 15, 2019 12:41 amThat’s wonderful Mariam! What a wonderful story of opening your doors.
Ali Joy
August 6, 2019 12:08 pmGrowing up, for a variety of reasons we didn’t have people over much beyond very close family friends, but I always loved the idea of opening my home to others. Now that I am an adult I still love making people feel included, welcome and comfortable through various acts of hospitality. My current home is a very small studio apartment full of my 3 big dogs so I tend to be hesitant to invite people over… But I am always so refreshed and encouraged when I do have guests over. When I stop worrying about how much space I don’t have or if things are tidy enough, I realize that everyone has always felt comfortable in my home. They aren’t focusing on what I may be lacking, they are simply happy to share time together and are honestly usually surprised at how much I have been able to do in such a small space! I would love to read this book and continue being inspired to live out a hospitable life. Not only when things seem perfectly in place, but authentic hospitality that encourages others by taking the pressure of perfection off the table. Welcoming them to be themselves by being myself.
phoebe@beingincommunity.com
August 15, 2019 12:40 amAli, this is so true. People visit with you for YOU – and maybe even to snuggle your dogs too 🙂
Pauline
August 14, 2019 1:17 amSo, I admit seriously want to win the book, though if you were to look at my bookshelves or my schedule, it would be seriously unwise to have another book.
But…wow. The theme of hospitality is one that has been resonating deeply lately, as a mom (especially as a homeschool mom) and as a Christian woman.
I have a crazy emerging vision about hospitality among fellow couples interested in exploring great literature, not just for our kids’ sakes, but for our own. I’m not quite sure what it’s going to look like (maybe a monthly dinner and read aloud from something we’re intrigued by but wouldn’t consider tackling on our own), but it’s exciting for sure!
phoebe@beingincommunity.com
August 15, 2019 12:39 amThis vision of hospitality and exploring great literature sounds AMAZING! I’d love to hear about it if you decide to do it!
Yvette Iskandar
August 15, 2019 4:29 pmHospitality is so important now than ever due to incorrect understanding of “socialization”. Not long ago, people called or visited, not texted or PM. people mailed letters and pictures not tagged.
It’s a missing art to invite people over and TALK.
I m glad foe this book and can not wait to read it.
phoebe@beingincommunity.com
September 14, 2019 2:03 amIt’s a great book for sure!
Joe awad
August 15, 2019 5:09 pmBeing hospitable is something I always struggled with until I felt and saw how much of a difference its had in the lives of others. Seemingly small acts of hospitality can have a huge impact such as preventing someone from attempting suicide. For a while hospitality was the norm and it seems about time for us to get back to the basics 🙂
phoebe@beingincommunity.com
September 14, 2019 2:02 amI agree, Joe! It is true that hospitality used to be the norm. Perhaps when we get back to it we can indeed transform society. It’s been done before 🙂
Sonia Nicholson
August 15, 2019 6:12 pmAs someone who has a strong interest in diplomacy but who also grew up in a very small town, I feel like the concepts of hospitality and community should go hand in hand. They represent a kind of “citizen diplomacy” where a genuine warm welcome and the breaking of bread together form the foundation of strong relationships.
phoebe@beingincommunity.com
September 14, 2019 2:01 amThank you for this thoughtful comment! It is indeed a kind of “citizen diplomacy.” I wonder how different the world might be today if diplomacy involved true hospitality.
Sonia Nicholson
September 14, 2019 2:09 amExactly!