by Phoebe Farag Mikhail
My family and I have rearranged our lives in such a way to make it possible for us to participate in every Holy Week service. We did so in part because we knew how exhausting it was to try to participate in everything while also managing our lives in a world that doesn’t stop for the season. In fact, the long readings and prayers were created at a time when the whole community would and could stop for Holy Week and spend their days in church reading the prophesies, the Gospels, and singing the long, melasmic hymns.
Our church has held on to these traditions even as the community around it changed, becoming less and less interested in stopping for the season and even hostile to focusing on Christ’s journey to the Cross and the Resurrection.
(c) Phoebe Farag Mikhail 2021
Still, these traditions are so precious to us that during the COVID lockdown, we maintained them, reading the Holy Pascha readings together on Zoom, singing the hymns at home, and celebrating the Feast remotely. But now that we are thankfully back to in person worship, back to school, back to work, we face another Holy Week struggling to participate fully while balancing it all. Some of us have the blessing of getting time off, but many of us don’t.
One year, my employer planned a major event on Orthodox Easter weekend that required me to work on, scheduling it without consulting me and oblivious to different calendars. When my superiors learned that the event fell on my religious holiday, they were kind enough to allow me to do all the preparation without actually attending the event so I could celebrate Easter with my family. But by doing so, I could not attend any of the other Holy Week services. I even missed Good Friday. The only services I made were Bright Saturday and the Resurrection. That was hard. The work I was doing was indeed important, but I resented it.
Another Holy Week, I struggled so much to manage the balance between work, my kids’ school, and supporting my clergy husband during the most exhausting week of the year for him. This led to a short fuse on my part with the kids, not a great spirit for commemorating our story of salvation, though a good demonstration of why we need that salvation. Many churches try to help people balance the week with work by starting the morning hours at 5 am so people can attend them before work, then come back to church at 7 for the evening hours. Even when I was single, this was rough. I could never handle a schedule like that with young children.
And so I just want to acknowledge that this coming week for Orthodox Christians, especially Coptic Orthodox Christians, is going to be difficult and exhausting. The tradition was set up to be rigorous, with lots of fasting and prostrations, but it was not set up to work in a world that barely recognizes it. This is an extra layer of struggle for us, an often frustrating one. So, I’m here empathize with everyone balancing school, jobs, caregiving responsibilities, young children, and other life situations. This is going to be a difficult week. No less difficult than it was for Christ, of course, but still difficult.
Let us do the best we can, not out of obligation, but out of love. When it’s impossible, let’s mark the time in some way – if at work, read one reading, even just a Psalm from the hour, and sing “Thine is the Power” in your heart. Make the sign of the Cross and pray Lord have mercy 12 times. If at home with a sick loved one, sleeping young children, or your own illness, read the readings at home, listen to the hymns, stream a live service if you can. But try not to be frustrated. This is, after all, the season when we commemorate God’s immense gift of grace, one we didn’t earn and can never repay.
But if you have the ability, do your best and go to every service you can, praying for those who wish dearly to be in your place, and soaking in all that you can for the day that you can’t participate, for whatever reason.
May the Lord keep the doors of the church open to all the believers, and may the blessings of this Holy Week of Pascha and the glorious Feast of the Resurrection be with us all.
Other Holy Week posts on Being in Community
Suffering is Part of the Calling
On the prospect of a remote Holy Week
COVID Chronicles of Hope in New York
The Futility of Killing People Who Believe in the Resurrection of the Dead
Book lists for Spiritual Reading during Lent and Holy Week
What I’m Reading this Lent (2022 edition)
What I’m Reading this Lent (2021 edition)
What I’m Reading this Lent (2020 edition)
What I’m Reading this Lent (2019 edition)
What I’m Reading this Lent (2018 edition)
What I’m Reading this Lent (2017 edition)
Children’s Great Lent Picture Book Guide
Various resources for children and families during Holy Week
Bridges to Orthodoxy: Free Holy Week Resources
We the Copts: Six Ways To Survive 10 Hour Good Friday Service With Your Little Kids
Mireille Mishriky: Holy Week Activities for Families with Young Children
Coptic Dad and Mom: The Ultimate Guide to Holy Week
Kids and Teen Resources for Holy Week
Holy Week Printable Activities from Christian Kids Prints
Holy Week Printable Activities from Joy in Play Life
AnneMarie Miller
April 14, 2022 2:13 pmThis is a beautiful post, and so encouraging! I’m Roman Catholic, so we are right in the middle of Holy Week currently (beginning the holy Triduum with this evening’s liturgy) and there have been a couple times when I’ve wondered if I’m doing “enough,” since I’m pregnant and tired with my young children (we attend each liturgical service, as long as we’re all healthy, but we’re not doing a lot of extra stuff at-home on top of that). This is such a good reminder to not get frustrated and to stop comparing myself to other people. Thank you! I hope that you and your family have a blessed Holy Week and Pascha!!